The Family Law Client Intake Checklist: Every Question, Document and Warning

A family law intake checklist has to do three jobs at once: tell the firm whether it can take the matter, capture facts that are expensive to reconstruct later, and set the client’s expectations before the first crisis. When intake is improvised, each of those jobs gets done partially, and the gaps show up months later as a missed jurisdictional fact, an unpreserved message thread, or a client who thought the firm promised something it didn’t.

The checklist below is organized in the order a well-run intake actually happens, from the first call through the day the matter becomes a working file. It is written for attorneys, paralegals and intake staff, and it is deliberately general. Procedural details, required disclosures and screening rules vary by state and court, so adapt it to your jurisdiction and your firm’s policies.

What should a family law intake cover?

Five phases, in this order: conflicts, safety, matter facts, documents and evidence, then engagement and expectations. Skipping ahead, especially past conflicts and safety, creates problems that are hard to undo.

1. Conflict check. Names only, before details.
2. Safety screen. Private, for every client, including how to contact them safely.
3. Matter facts. Parties, children, residence history, existing orders, finances.
4. Documents and evidence. What exists, where it lives, and who will gather it.
5. Engagement and expectations. Scope, fees, communication norms and first-day instructions, all in writing.

How should you handle conflicts and safety before the consultation?

Run conflicts on names alone, then screen for safety privately. Both happen before the client tells their full story.

Conflict check

Under Model Rule 1.18, information a prospective client shares can limit the firm’s ability to represent someone adverse to them later, even if the firm never takes the case. Script the first contact to collect only what conflicts require:

• The client’s full name and any prior names.
• The other party’s full name, prior names and any current partner or spouse.
• Other adults likely to be involved, such as grandparents or other relatives seeking time with the children.
• Businesses either party owns, and any attorney either party has already consulted.

Safety screen

Ask every client, not just those who raise concerns. Real abuse exists, and so do cases where it doesn’t; screening everyone avoids assumptions either way. Ask whether a protective order exists or is pending, whether there are current safety concerns for the client or the children, and whether the other party has access to the client’s phone, email, cloud accounts, car or shared devices. If there is immediate danger, the client should call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233 or by texting START to 88788.

The core family law intake checklist

Once conflicts clear, work through these groups during the consultation or in a reviewed questionnaire.

Parties and household

• Full legal names, prior names and dates of birth for both parties.
• Date of marriage or start of cohabitation, and date of separation if any.
• Current addresses and everyone living in each household.
• Language, interpreter or accessibility needs.

Children

• Names and dates of birth of all children, including children of other relationships in either household.
• The actual current schedule, not just what any order says.
• Schools, child care, pediatricians, therapists and other providers.
• Special educational, medical or developmental needs, and who has handled them.
• Any involvement by child protective services, handled with care and without assumptions.

Residence history and existing orders

• Where each child has lived, with dates, for the past several years. Interstate custody jurisdiction generally turns on where the child has lived recently, so dates matter.
• Any planned move by either party.
• Every existing order: custody, support, protective orders, and orders from other states or countries.
• Pending cases in any court, with case numbers and next dates.
• Written agreements, such as a separation agreement or prenuptial agreement.

Finances

• Income sources and employers for both parties, including self-employment.
• Bank, investment and retirement accounts, real property, vehicles and business interests.
• Debts, and who controls access to each account today.
• Recent large transactions or transfers either party has noticed.

Evidence and communication sources

• How the parties communicate: text, messaging apps, email, a co-parenting app.
• Devices and accounts holding relevant messages, photos and calendars.
• Journals, school or medical records, and potential witnesses.
• Any existing recordings, and how they were made.

Goals and constraints

• What the client wants, in their words, and what matters most to them for the children.
• Budget and timing constraints.
• Anything they are unwilling to agree to, and why.

Which documents should you request at intake?

Request a focused first wave tied to the next decision point, not everything at once. A long list sent on day one tends to come back partial and disorganized.

• All existing orders and any papers from a pending case.
• Recent pay stubs and the last few years’ tax returns.
• Recent statements for bank, credit and retirement accounts.
• Mortgage or lease documents and any written agreements between the parties.
• A provider and school contact list for each child.
• Message exports from the phone or app, rather than screenshots, for the most relevant conversations.

How you phrase the request matters as much as what you ask for; see client document request letters that actually get answered, and for message and photo evidence, how to get clients to send organized evidence.

What should the client hear before they leave?

Clear, written instructions on preservation and conduct. Clients under stress remember little of a consultation, so put the essentials in a short document they can reread.

These instructions protect the record and the children. They also support the firm’s duty under Model Rule 1.4 to explain matters to the extent reasonably necessary for the client to make informed decisions.

How do you turn intake into a working file?

Convert every open item into a dated task with an owner before the client leaves the building or the call ends.

1. Confirm scope and fees in writing. Model Rule 1.5(b) calls for communicating scope and the basis of fees, preferably in writing, and Rule 1.5(d)(1) prohibits domestic relations fees contingent on securing a divorce or on the amount of support or a property settlement. For limited-scope work, Rule 1.2(c) requires informed consent. State versions vary.
2. Calendar every date. Hearings, response deadlines and disclosure deadlines from any pending case.
3. Create a document request list. One line per item, with a due date and the person responsible.
4. Assign the team. Name the attorney, paralegal and point of contact, and tell the client who handles what.
5. Set the communication rhythm. When the client should expect updates and how to reach the firm.

Firms that run intake in software such as CourtBriefly can attach each request to the matter, name who it is from, and see at a glance which records are still missing. You can see how that fits a family-law practice in the family-law workflow overview.

Intake mistakes that cost firms later

• Taking the full story before conflicts clear.
• Screening only clients who mention safety concerns.
• Recording the custody schedule from the order rather than what actually happens.
• Accepting screenshots when the phone could produce a complete export.
• Leaving preservation instructions verbal.
• Letting the client set communication expectations by default; see managing high-conflict family law clients for setting the frame early.

An intake checklist doesn’t decide strategy. It makes sure the attorney has the facts, the safety picture and the documents needed to give sound advice, and that the client knows what to do in the meantime.